In an earlier blog I told you about the detours I took in coming to where I am now. I don’t know whether you noticed, but I choose my words carefully. The following words just about sum it up: I was on the path that I thought my parents, siblings, friends, acquaintances, society in general would like to see me on. Now, there might be people who get from this sentence that I ‘blame’ others for the turns my journey took. That is not the case, however. The keyword is thought. I thought that I was doing what others wanted. But I very much made the decision to do that myself. I do not view myself as a victim. Far from it. I see myself as a very skilful navigator 🙂
The decisions I make are mine and mine alone
It might well be that I was doing what other people wanted, but I can’t know that for sure. And even in those cases that I did know for sure that someone else liked to see me make a certain move, because they told me (like the time I went to law school and dropped out after mere weeks, because I felt so miserable there), it was ME who ultimate decided to go along with it (in this case because it was easier than figuring out what I myself wanted). Yes, I did what I figured the people I loved wanted or expected me to do. I wanted to please. But it was all me. There was no one holding a gun to my head. And even if there would have been, the decision still had been mine (in which case it wouldn’t have been a difficult one). They were all my decisions, I was the one that choose to move in that direction for whatever reason I had at that moment in time.
And even when looking back my decisions didn’t turn out to be quite what I expected, I still stand behind every single one of them. There are no regrets. All of the decisions where the only ones I could have made given the circumstances at that time. Besides, I got so much out of my ‘mistakes’. I learned that it not want to do a job or live in a country and so on… How could I ever regret them? I met my fantastic husband because I was in a job that was ultimately not for me. But doing that job I got to know the friend who ultimately introduced us. In fact, I got to know loads of beautiful people, just because I met them on these wanderings. I realised how my health worked, because I ended up in situations that I wasn’t supposed to be in. I found out what is important to me by straying into areas that didn’t make me tick. And as a result I now know better what I do want.
You are responsible
Why am I going on about this? Because it is important. You have to take responsibility for your own life and your own actions or you will never get out on top. If you see yourself as a victim, you will be a victim. You are what you tell yourself to be. So don’t be a victim. Even if you hate your job, you always have the choice to get out. You may not choose to leave your job because there are things that you get out of it, like security. But even so, it is still your choice to stay in the job. You then choose security. Realising that will probably change how you look at your job from that moment onwards and will make you feel better about it.
Be a powerful person who takes responsibility for his or her decisions. You are in charge of your life. Realise that there are no wrong decisions, that you will always get ahead, if only because you realise whatever you chose wasn’t for you. When you become the master and commander of your life and choices, you will as a result become able to make decisions easier and therefore make changes. Be sure I will get back to this one, but it is connected to a lot of the Big Stuff. But in order to understand ourselves better, we will first have to start at the beginning, which is exactly what the next blog will be about.
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